One Year!

I have officially, as of Friday May 16th, been in Panamá for one whole year. A year! A freaking year! Amazing. Longest time I´ve gone without seeing my parents. Without being ¨home,¨ though I think my sense of that word has changed a little. Quite the year it´s been. It´s hard to explain or even try to summarize. So much. I can´t believe it´s only been a year, how could so much happen in one year? When I first got here time was dragging by so harshly, at training, that I thought this Peace Corps adventure would take up my whole life. Then I slowly got into the swing of things, training accelerated when I found out my site placement, then I moved to Cabuya Arriba and whoa how´d I get here? When did I actually figure out what I was doing here? I´m not sure when it happened but I can say that all in all, it´s been a fantastic year and I wouldn´t change it for anything. Ups and downs for sure but that comes with the territory. Wouldn´t have learned anything if it wasn´t a little hard, right? After, within, throughout all the training, the struggling to learn Spanish, the confusion in understanding cultural differences, the loneliness, the not quite knowing what I´m doing or why I´m here... there were the moments of pure joy. The comprehension that finally dawned. The beauty of it all. I do love this country and I love the people. I love what I´m doing here. Of course things are very different, just in the daily life and of course the culture, but I feel I´ve gotten a hang of it and I do feel I understand, or at least accept it. Yes sometimes I still get frustrated by questions or comments but I have to realize that most of the people here have NO concept of anything outside Panamá. Outside their town. They´ve never left, how could they? Maybe I don´t understand why it´s so hard for them to understand that yes my first words were in the English language but that´s because I don´t know what it´s like to have lived my whole life not even knowing where my country was in relation to the rest of the world, let alone a sense of how the rest of the world was different. It´s hard to explain. But overall I´ve found myself very go with the flow and accepting and I like that. I like the tranquility here. It´s all so calm. Flexible. Let´s see, work wise. I´m a teacher in the primary school. Three days a week. I teach environmental studies to each grade (K-6) for one hour a week. I like it. Although I gotta say that jumping into a teaching position with no formal education in how to teach is a little hard. But I´m doing better. We´ve also launched the Captain Planet team so we´ll be traveling around to different sites doing a captain planet-themed fair at different schools. The first one went awesomely well, as I posted below, so it´s pretty freaking cool. Right now right now I´m not working as I´m in Chitré doing physical therapy on my ankle. It´s doing fine. Just the arthritis thing. And the pt is supposedly to try to make it a little less swollen. But I figure since it´s been that way for a year now it probably won´t go away with 15 sessions of electro-therapy. But we´ll see. I´m here, I´m doing it. :-p And can´t really complain about 15 nights in a hotel. Hot water! Yay! :) Though you´d be surprised how quickly one gets used to the cold water. And it is apparently very good for your hair. :) But back to the matter. Honestly, I really have to say that the majority of my time here is spent more in the cultural exchange part of the Peace Corps mission. Just talking to people and talking about the states. There´s always questions. Just in daily conversations we have both sides are exposed to new ideas. In all the festivites and fairs I´ve been too. I can´t even begin to explain the number of festivities and fairs there are here. All around some religious holiday or other. But they´re fantastic. The sense of community here... it´s so different. I´ve just learned so much. Spanish. Ugh. I have a new sense of the word ¨fluent¨ and my sense is that if it´s not your first language it is incredibly difficult to reach that point of being fluent. Even after living here for a year. Yes, I speak Spanish. I speak Spanish well. I´m a teacher for crying out loud and I have a Panamanian boyfriend. But still, sometimes there will be jokes, or new words, or trying to figure out a riddle where you just stop and realize that maybe you´re not quite fluent. I still don´t understand some things. And I will always always always hate Spanish verbs. Stupid conjugations. But I´m encouraged. And yes I still speak English, though not as well. And I have honestly forgotten some words, but they´ll come back (I was reading a book the other week and I didn´t know the word ¨mistress.¨ Like seriously didn´t know it. Sounded it out. Read around for context. Tried to relate it to ¨stress.¨ After two minutes I got it. Whew). Every day is an adventure, that´s for sure. But it´s a good one. Good enough at least that who knows, I may stay here for a third year. But I´ll keep you updated on that nugget of a thought. ;) So yes, the first year was good. Looking forward to the second year. My life, my house, my work, my personal life are all going strong. I love the tropics and the hot weather and my tan, but the rainy season is just beginning to start up again (late). But I am still SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED to visit home (NY) in July. God I miss my family. Can´t wait to see everyone! :) Much love to all. HUGS!