On being a gringa, and other thoughts

Never in my life before coming here have I wished I had different colored eyes. And it's not all the time, mind you. Just occasionally. But already I stand out. Hey, I'm white. Even if I do think I'm quite tan, it isn't the same. Obviously. But then you go certain places - bailes, carnavales, large get togethers - and now not only do people notice you because you're a gringa, but then they see that you have BLUE eyes. Panamanians have brown eyes. All of them. Unless you're in Panama City, which is just a totally different world I don't talk about. And many times, certain men in the crowd, won't let it go. And all I'll hear about for the next three hours is my eyes. Ok, I get it. Thanks. There is a point where it stops being complimenting and becomes incredibly annoying. LEAVE ME ALONE! And telling someone you want to take their eyes is creepy, not flattering. I think if I do end up going to Africa I might seriously consider investing in brown colored contacts. Just to wear occasionally. When I don't want to stick out more than I already do.

I have also never felt so tall before. I'm about 5'5''. Normal. Sometimes I feel short in the states. Definitely more often than I've ever felt tall. But here, it's pretty normal. Especially with the women. I am taller than most of the women. At least the same height. With men, we tend to be about the same height. Some are taller. But I've never had to actually physically turn my head down to look at a woman before. Can be awkward sometimes. Nice to be able to see over everyone on the bus though. When I sit up straight anyway. :)

People here, mostly men, hiss at you when they want to get your attention. Like a long tssssst sound. Or a sprinkler. You get what I'm saying. It pisses me off. I am not a dog or a cat, please do not hiss at me! But they do it all the time! My god just say something if you want me to turn. Unless it's going to be "hey baby" or "hola mami." The hissing can be easier to ignore. I know people who have tried to explain that the hissing is incredibly annoying and tends to piss the gringas off and they tend to be surprised. Of course they would, they think it's normal. But it is turning out to be one of the harder cultural things to get used to.

Here's something for all you women's rights people keen on breastfeeding rights: come on down! Breastfeeding never has and never concievably will be a problem here. It's natural, and it's not like campesinos ever had an alternative, so it is completely normal. And you will see it everywhere. Women on the bus, in the store, at a meeting, riding a horse. Anywhere they go they bring the baby and it needs to be fed it will be fed right then and there. It's great, go you. But also, was a little shocking at first. I think I've seen my fair share of boobs now.

Some random stuff now: I've been really productive lately! I'm helping to plan the All Volunteer Conference next month. Good stuff. I'm organizing a youth camp with a few other volunteers. Which is fun, but also slightly chaotic and anxious to plan. I'm also still organizing the traveling environmental fair. Takes some work. School starts next month, so I'm trying to write lesson plans. English class is still going. And I'm off and on with the reforestation group. Kind of sporadic in the dry season. But they've been working on some great re-organization and teamwork and leadership skills with help from agencies that I think will really benefit them.

Here's a note. So another thing you get used to really quick here is machete's. I have one. So does everyone else. You get used to seeing everyone just carying them around, uncovered. Walking or in a bus. Whatever. It's amazing how quickly a machete can become unthreatening. But also, it's very important to remember how dangerous they are. And how the preferred method in this country for a man to murder his girlfriend/wife is with a machete. Or men have machete fights. These acts of violence, in which somebody inevitably dies or loses a limb, are called machetazos. They aren't uber frequent, but frequent enough that you don't forget that machete's, while mostly used for work, are very dangerous in the hands of a drunk man (and yes, man). Coincidentally, Machetazo is also the name of one of the largest supermarket chains in this country. Kind of like a K-Mart. They're slashing prices. Wonder who came up with that advertising strategy.

Ok, that's it for now. Gotta get back to planning and organizing. Miss you all! :)